Cookie: Wow Izzy are you ok?? You hit the ground pretty hard there....what happened??
Izzy: Well Cookster, there I was just busting out some heavy squats minding my own business when I hear this bizarre 'vvvt' 'vvvt' 'vvvt'!!!! noise coming from behind me...
Cookie: What the hell???
Izzy: I know, right? So here I am thinking some Russian Stormtroopers from that movie Red Dawn had just parachuted down to invade us, when all of a sudden out of the corner of my eye, Birchy walks past wearing those ENORMOUS pants!!!
Cookie: Pffft!!!..what..not those ones he has been wearing lately that make him look like the chick out of Bridget Jones' Diary?
Izzy: Same girlfriend, same. So, needless to say, I COMPLETELY lose my shit, the bar and weights go flying, I go arse over and end up here on the ground in uncontrollable fits of laughter..
Cookie: Bahahahaha!! Dude, what is it with those pants??
Izzy: I dunno Cookman, but someone is going to get hurt real soon if Tam doesn't spot him for a gift voucher to ANYWHERE other than Woolworths for his clothes..I mean, seriously, WTF??
I feel sorry for the innocent victim in this whole pant fiasco, Tammie Birch. The background to the story starts with Tam expressing her dislike of her husbands black, fleece, extremely comfortable tracksuit pants which he spent hours pacing the shops, suffering shoppers back and finally purchasing. After differing to his wife's better fashion sense and wisdom, he consented to wearing the work pant of her choice. She brought home those heinous pants fouling up poor Izzy blog photo. They are actually a wet weather shell, have a really annoying mesh insert which gets caught on your shoes, sound like a wind tunnel when in motion, impossible to exercise in, the list goes on... However, just wearing them seems to make t happy, until tonight. The blog has gone into overdrive, the inmates have rebelled against the poor warden, led by a giant man-child called Hollywood, who since dropping a few extra pounds has a renewed confidence and recruited a man who is yet to beat his wife ever in a wod as his right hand, the cookman. Poor tam is distraught, at home in bed, foetal position, inconsolable she has brought this upon her loving husband. Fear not T, I will struggle through the critism and continue to sweat my way through the day in your weather proof pants.
Wow. It's a new low here fellow bloggers. Our fearless leader has resorted to hiding behind his wife, Tam, the loveliest girl in the gym mind you, as the flimsy excuse for his man fashion failings. I cannot begin to tell you dear readers how disappointed I am in this feeble attempt to divert attention away from the facts of the matter, namely his obvious glee in wearing those 'two for ten dollars' bloomers he purchased in aisle 4 from Coles at Woden. Poor Tam was not even present during this transaction, yet it is a sad indictment on how far Josh has fallen in his vein attempt to salvage a shred of pride whilst wearing said horrendous pants.
Do I detect a similar literary style in Josh's response as that of the heinous thief of a certain T-shirt? An attempted deflection to the long suffering Tam but clearly a foul one at that. Shame Josh - be a man, admit you had a shopping disaster! And Hollywood - the word is vain not anatomical or was that bleeding obvious????
Poor Hollywood. I can take fashion advice from most at the box, but the man-child who has taken layering shirts to a new level(I counted 4 layers one day) is dishing it out, unbelievable behavior. Hiding behind ones wife is a serious allegation and must be answered, I urge all to ask t if the above account is accurate and true. Never believe a man who fails to embrace his natural hair colour as he enters the glory years of his life. The silver fox is in mate, embrace it.
Cookie: Well, well, well. What an interesting turn of events it appears as though all manner of allegations are being thrown around. Wives and WODS, hair colours, and who purchased what track suit pants. To me it is a shame that these personal attacks have to be used against each other when we all work so hard together as 2600 CrossFitters. The disappointment I feel is immeasurable, kind of like how immeasurably bad Birchy's trackies are. My wife can beat me in a WOD, but at least she doesn't dress me like someone who rode the special bus to school. You are special Josh, very special.
For all the diatribe written above, there's only one reason birch wears those pants; the static build up created by the rubbing gives him a little "tingle" in that special place.
it would be appreciated Josh if you could turn the pants down when Pip is trying to explain the WOD - maybe there should a rule about the pant one wears to 2600 ?
Cookie: is that MC Hammer standing behind Izzy? Can't touch this!
ReplyDeleteGood vision
ReplyDeleteCookie: Wow Izzy are you ok?? You hit the ground pretty hard there....what happened??
ReplyDeleteIzzy: Well Cookster, there I was just busting out some heavy squats minding my own business when I hear this bizarre 'vvvt' 'vvvt' 'vvvt'!!!! noise coming from behind me...
Cookie: What the hell???
Izzy: I know, right? So here I am thinking some Russian Stormtroopers from that movie Red Dawn had just parachuted down to invade us, when all of a sudden out of the corner of my eye, Birchy walks past wearing those ENORMOUS pants!!!
Cookie: Pffft!!!..what..not those ones he has been wearing lately that make him look like the chick out of Bridget Jones' Diary?
Izzy: Same girlfriend, same. So, needless to say, I COMPLETELY lose my shit, the bar and weights go flying, I go arse over and end up here on the ground in uncontrollable fits of laughter..
Cookie: Bahahahaha!! Dude, what is it with those pants??
Izzy: I dunno Cookman, but someone is going to get hurt real soon if Tam doesn't spot him for a gift voucher to ANYWHERE other than Woolworths for his clothes..I mean, seriously, WTF??
Cookie: Totes bro, totes.
Cookie: Uncanny that's exactly how it happened.
DeleteCareful Birchy, those noisy pants cost George Costanza a promotion.......so loud.
ReplyDeleteI just assumed his pants were so big in the lower half because of his massive calves.
ReplyDeleteThey're marvelous...Kel often wears his with his hand knitted rainbow serpent sweater! Hot stuff...even if I say so myself.
ReplyDeleteIssy: (the real one) it was all so believable until you mentioned " busting out heavy squats" FAIL! I don't do heavy squats!
ReplyDeletePants like that need a soundtrack, I mean other than the soundtrack they create whilst being worn.
ReplyDeleteGOLD! that is all :)
ReplyDeleteActually, that's not all...Ice Ice baby is now on repeat in my head haha
DeleteStop, collaborate and listen, Birchy's back with some kick ass trackies.
ReplyDeleteThis is really good
ReplyDeleteBirchy getting carved up? Takes the heat off old' number 6 for a while.
ReplyDeleteWho's the sumo wrestler in the background?!
ReplyDeleteWow...This is actually happening... Rebuttal birch?
ReplyDeleteThose pants really made my snatch better this morning.
ReplyDeleteC'mon, someone had to mention snatches.....
I feel sorry for the innocent victim in this whole pant fiasco, Tammie Birch. The background to the story starts with Tam expressing her dislike of her husbands black, fleece, extremely comfortable tracksuit pants which he spent hours pacing the shops, suffering shoppers back and finally purchasing.
ReplyDeleteAfter differing to his wife's better fashion sense and wisdom, he consented to wearing the work pant of her choice. She brought home those heinous pants fouling up poor Izzy blog photo.
They are actually a wet weather shell, have a really annoying mesh insert which gets caught on your shoes, sound like a wind tunnel when in motion, impossible to exercise in, the list goes on...
However, just wearing them seems to make t happy, until tonight.
The blog has gone into overdrive, the inmates have rebelled against the poor warden, led by a giant man-child called Hollywood, who since dropping a few extra pounds has a renewed confidence and recruited a man who is yet to beat his wife ever in a wod as his right hand, the cookman.
Poor tam is distraught, at home in bed, foetal position, inconsolable she has brought this upon her loving husband.
Fear not T, I will struggle through the critism and continue to sweat my way through the day in your weather proof pants.
Wow. It's a new low here fellow bloggers. Our fearless leader has resorted to hiding behind his wife, Tam, the loveliest girl in the gym mind you, as the flimsy excuse for his man fashion failings. I cannot begin to tell you dear readers how disappointed I am in this feeble attempt to divert attention away from the facts of the matter, namely his obvious glee in wearing those 'two for ten dollars' bloomers he purchased in aisle 4 from Coles at Woden. Poor Tam was not even present during this transaction, yet it is a sad indictment on how far Josh has fallen in his vein attempt to salvage a shred of pride whilst wearing said horrendous pants.
DeleteDo I detect a similar literary style in Josh's response as that of the heinous thief of a certain T-shirt? An attempted deflection to the long suffering Tam but clearly a foul one at that. Shame Josh - be a man, admit you had a shopping disaster! And Hollywood - the word is vain not anatomical or was that bleeding obvious????
DeleteI think we all owe T an apology.... or even better, a matching pair of trackie pants!
ReplyDeletePoor Hollywood. I can take fashion advice from most at the box, but the man-child who has taken layering shirts to a new level(I counted 4 layers one day) is dishing it out, unbelievable behavior.
ReplyDeleteHiding behind ones wife is a serious allegation and must be answered, I urge all to ask t if the above account is accurate and true.
Never believe a man who fails to embrace his natural hair colour as he enters the glory years of his life. The silver fox is in mate, embrace it.
Cookie: Well, well, well. What an interesting turn of events it appears as though all manner of allegations are being thrown around. Wives and WODS, hair colours, and who purchased what track suit pants. To me it is a shame that these personal attacks have to be used against each other when we all work so hard together as 2600 CrossFitters. The disappointment I feel is immeasurable, kind of like how immeasurably bad Birchy's trackies are. My wife can beat me in a WOD, but at least she doesn't dress me like someone who rode the special bus to school. You are special Josh, very special.
ReplyDeleteThat's good cookie, really good.
ReplyDeleteDim: good clean family fun right here on the blog!
ReplyDeletePants are still hilarious to listen to Birchy
For all the diatribe written above, there's only one reason birch wears those pants; the static build up created by the rubbing gives him a little "tingle" in that special place.
ReplyDeleteit would be appreciated Josh if you could turn the pants down when Pip is trying to explain the WOD - maybe there should a rule about the pant one wears to 2600 ?
ReplyDelete